talking to a feral cat owner

Hi everyone. I am struggling with a neighbor situation that is stressing me out. He has a colony of about six cats behind his barn and feeds them every day, which is nice, but he refuses to let anyone spay or neuter them. We see newborns constantly.

I know this is a common issue, but I am at my wit's end. I have already written up the details of the colony, the vet visits we tried to arrange, and the history in my previous post on the cats. I am not going to repeat all that here.

I just want to know how you all talk to people like this. He is not mean, just very set in his ways. How do I get him to agree to TNR without making him feel attacked?

Hi Carol. I understand how frustrating this is. I had a similar issue with a neighbor who kept a stray cat that kept coming into my yard.

I found that it helps to frame it as a health issue for the cats rather than a population control issue. People are often more willing to help if they think it will make the cat live longer or be less sick. You might want to look at resources for TNR advocates to see if there are local groups that can go with you. Sometimes a third party is easier to listen to.

I agree with Terri. I have a diabetic cat, Dolly, and I know how important consistent care is. Feral cats that are not spayed are more prone to infections and stress.

I would suggest keeping a calm demeanor. If he gets defensive, do not argue. Just state the facts. You might find dealing with stubborn feeders useful for specific phrases to use. I remember reading that emphasizing the suffering of the kittens helps.

Oh no, that sounds so hard! I lost my cat Mittens last year and I know how much I loved her. I hope you can get through this!

I think you should just be very sweet to him! Maybe bring him some cookies? I am not a great negotiator, but I feel like kindness works best. I am sure he just does not understand the risks.

Thanks for the suggestions. I was actually looking at Brian's thread about his neighbor and saw that he had a similar issue with a construction manager. I think I will try the angle of health first, as Terri suggested. It feels less aggressive than talking about numbers.

I will keep you posted on how it goes. I just want to do the right thing for those cats.