Kiki's anxiety signs and triggers

I know I've asked a lot about this, but I'm trying to get a handle on what I'm actually looking at with Kiki. I wrote up the vet visit and the history in this thread so I don't have to repeat it all here, but I'm still fuzzy on the specific behaviors. Kiki is my 5-year-old Siamese, and she's had anxiety issues for a while, but it's gotten worse since Koda (the 1-year-old mix I just adopted) came home. I see her grooming her ears until they look a little raw, and she avoids the rug in the living room entirely when Koda is around. Is that a sign of anxiety or just territorial stuff? I'm trying to figure out if I'm overreacting.

Hi Kristen, first off, you are doing a great job. I've been there with Smudge, my 9-year-old tabby, when we brought home Sam, my 4-year-old mix. It is stressful for everyone. For Kiki, the ear grooming is a big red flag. In my experience, when cats start obsessively cleaning specific areas like ears or paws, it is often a displacement behavior for stress. The avoidance of the rug is also classic anxiety; she is creating a buffer zone. I would check out this thread about scent swapping to see if you can help them feel safer around each other's scents.

Not just territorial. Territorial is usually about holding ground. Anxiety is about not feeling safe. If she is grooming to the point of rawness, she is stressed. I have a 6-year-old DSH, River, who goes outside, but my indoor tabby, Kettle, is shy. When I added a new cat to the barn, Kettle started hiding under the hay. I built him a high perch. See this thread on vertical space. High ground helps them feel in control. If she is off the rug, maybe she needs a higher spot she can claim.

The ear thing is concerning. My persian mix, Pumpkin, does the same thing when he has hairballs, but if it's stress-related, it can lead to skin issues. Also, is she eating? I noticed in your other post that she's been picking at her food. This thread on getting anxious cats to eat has some good tips on warming up the food to make it smell better. If she stops eating, that's when you call the vet. But the behavior itself? Yeah, that's anxiety. She is likely feeling threatened by Koda's presence, even if Koda is just being a puppy.

I think it is important to look at the quality of her silence. My tabby, Quiet, is 7 and shy. He doesn't groom, but he stops moving entirely when I type on my keyboard. It is a form of holding his breath. Kiki’s avoidance of the rug might be her way of saying 'I need space.' The raw ears suggest she is trying to soothe herself but failing. Have you tried the introduction steps Carol mentioned? Sometimes we rush the process, and the resident cat feels like their world has been invaded overnight.

Thanks, everyone. I will look at the vertical space thread. I did try the scent swapping, but Kiki hissed at Koda’s blanket. I’m worried the grooming is turning into something more. Is there a point where I should be worried about excessive grooming becoming a medical issue? Or is it just behavior for now?

Hissing is normal! Don't take it personally. It just means she hasn't accepted the new scent yet. As for the grooming, keep an eye on it. If the skin starts bleeding or she develops bald spots, that's when you worry. For now, it's behavioral. Maybe try spotting anxiety in older cats to see if there are other signs I missed. She is 5, so she isn't senior yet, but she is mature. Give her a safe room where Koda can't get in for a few days.